Earlier this year, I did a Fine Art Session with my 'models', the ladies who always understand me, my friends Savanna and Hannah and my youngest sister, Liv.
I entitled the products from that session 'Choices'. There were so many shots for me to choose from in that moment, and I chose a select few (about fifty, that I always entitle 'The Ones') to take down to less than ten images I shared with you. I always love to go back to the first selection of 'The Ones', after time has past to see how the images make me feel. Let's come back to that thought in a moment.
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As humans our emotions constantly change, usually based on our surroundings. Our home, our work, the people we surround ourselves by, etc.
As women I feel that these emotions can be heightened, and as an artist I think that allows me to go deeper. (I am not saying that men do not feel this, but I am sure men around the world would agree, we (women) tend to be highly emotional creatures).
I try to take my emotions and create something with them. I started feeling a bit not like myself about a week and a half ago and I realized it had been awhile since I had created. This year has been filled with so many ups and downs, some of my goals seem unreachable, while others that I thought were farther away - seem closer than I imagined.
I felt that like even though I was moving forward with an creative idea that has been in the works for awhile, that my other works and goals were put on the back burner. This made me feel like a bit of a failure, even though it shouldn't have. That can take a toll on how you feel emotionally, which then can take a toll on how you act and how others may perceive you.
I'd like to think I was an outgoing individual, who is funny, open, smart and happy. Basic words, but important ones. Sometimes when I see myself, I don't see those words. And I wonder what others see.
I felt this negativity around me, like this black haze just circling over me. When I realized - I had put myself there. Not anyone else. I needed therapy - and my therapy is always creating.
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So I revisited the fine art session 'Choices' top fifty photos I had originally chose as my favorites. Hannah was such an amazing sport that day. I made her jump and leap, and fly (well sort of :P) and I asked her to dig deep and try to relay the emotions I was feeling at the time. I had so many photos of her, but at the time I couldn't portray in editing what I thought I was feeling.
In my opinion when creating art portraiture, while getting the right photograph is very important (lighting, expressions, movement, detail), the editing process can really make or break a photo.
I knew her photos where important to me, and eventually I would find what I was looking for to make the photo portray my emotions.
The moment I saw this photo I knew what I wanted to do. And I created. I feel alive and happy again. I feel like I have released a darkness that was really clouding over me by sharing this with you. And I think that is what art is, sharing emotions.
So here is 'Holding On, While Letting Go'.
The darkness I portrayed with birds, blurring them to where you can barely recognize them. I realized that while I have these goals in life, I cannot let one falling short put me down. I should focus on my growth and my creativity. I should hold on to my dreams and let go of my shortcomings. I can learn from them, yes, but I must not let them bring me down.
Model: Hannah Curnutt
Photo and Editing by: Sydney Paige with Sydney Paige Photography
Texture by Brooke Shaden. She is an inspiration, and I am ready to start creating my own textures! #shadentextures (check out the link below to see her textures, download them and check out her blog! She really is amazing!) http://shadenproductions.com/blog/2013/09/15/textures-of-home-free-download/
